|
|
|
5th Jun, 晴天 Friday, June 5 Last night meet up with Geraldine & gang & S CLUB. A club taken over by Jack's brother near bugis.. Not bad,quite nice renovation & sound system was good but not my type of place hahaha.. Geraldine was suggesting where shall we go? Zinc or Sabai? Initially,i was thinking of going to Zinc.. I really dun know why i suggested that shall we go RESORT?? I've never been there.. I'm really curious what so attractive about that place How beautiful the thai gals are over there that makes him love that place so much.... I know he will be there for sure... Even he promise me before wedding dinner,he broke all his promises. When he knows that i will be going back to his place to play mj tonight with his family tonight, how could he miss the chance of going to his favourite spot?? The moment i step into resort, i was looking around.. At last i saw him...with his friends,surrounded by few thai gals playing games.. My heart was like a knife stab into it again.... I did not go straight to his table but his "BEST BROTHER ONG" saw me & tell him i was there. I intend to go to the toilet & after that i will go to his table & say hello.. Who knows,the moment i step out of the toilet, he was gone.. I was asking myself this question.What's the problem? Why must he run away when his friend told him i was there? I really couldn't understand.. Does he thinks that i will make a scene when his friends is around? Did i ever make any scene in front of his friends?? I was totally disappointed & i told his BEST BROTHER ONG who is the 1 who brought him to thai disco which makes him fall in love with that place coz there are many pretty & big breast thai gals for them to hug & kiss & even "UP" that i already saw him & you can ask him dun have to leave as i will be leaving soon..I really wanna thank his BEST BROTHER ONG & now another BEST BROTHER RAY.. We sms each other & he ask me to go back to his place as he wanna talk.. The way he talk to me as if i'm the 1 who was in wrong.. I shouldn't have go to that place to check on him. What a joke to me..So what is his promises of no THAI DISCO?? Now the blame was on me that i never give him face?? What had i done that i never give him face??? He broke his PROMISES & yet the blame lies on me.. He still can tell me what's wrong that he go RESORT?? (So he had totally forgotten what he had promise me before our wedding dinner) I really dun know what can i say... I really feel very very disappointed & sad.. He will never change..I keep telling myself.. He say i drive him to the CORNER to make a decision. Can you imagine what was he saying?? I drive him to the corner.. This means that he has been thinking shall we separate. At the end of the conversation, we agreed to separate. I pack most of my clothes early in the morning. He helps me & send me back to my mum's place.. (He din even have the thoughts of stopping me..) I think he must be dam fxxking happy i leave.. So he can enjoy his fxxking life with those thai & china gal again... The feeling is fxxking sucks,sad,disappointed,down & fxxk up.. The moment i reach my mum's place, my tears keep dripping.. I just cun control myself... I cry non stop till my eye swollen.. I sms his sister that i couldn't have mj session with them tonight. His sister ask me why.. I told her that we seperated.. Think his sister was shock too.. His sister keep asking me not to move back.. Dun be impulsive this & that.. If i still love him,i cun leave just like that.. I really dun know..i was like lost in the jungle & what can i do.. At last i made a decision... Let me tell you this,nobody would believe this if they knows me.. I ask AH CAN to help me bring back all my clothes which he send it to my mum's place to his house. I throw away my pride & go back to his house. Can you believe it? For my character,i will never do that but i did that... I really dun know who am i now... Where is the CANDY/YUKI/AH YEE which all of you know went to? I need someone to pull me back... I'm weak..very very weak...I really have no pride at all.. What the fxxk am i doing?I keep asking myself.. Can anyone tell me..Tell me what happens to me.. I'm going crazy soon..I've to leave... Have to do something to myself & wake myself up.. Who will help me? Who will support me? Who will understand how i feel?? Really think of ending my life at that moment so that i dun have to think.. Luckily i was not that stupid & irrational.. If not i will regret for the rest of my life if i did anything stupid... Coz does he WORTH it?????  Written @ Friday, June 05, 2009 4th Jun, 晴天 Thursday, June 4 Last nite meet Seng,Honey & Sam for dinner at PONGGOL MARINE. The steamboat was super cheap lor.. (Introduce by SAM ONG) $9.90 per pax..really cheap & good. Only thing is the place is super far.. Without car,it's not so convenient.. Next time must jio jj,jordon,cai,SHY GUY & xiu to go.. (U should know who is SHY GUY hahaha) After dinner,Angeline came to join us & we had a drink there.. I had 1 & a half bottle of Henikien & i was tipsy.. OMG!! I was thinking..How come?? In order not to lose my "仪态" so i faster text my friend & come to fetch me. (Do i still have 仪态??hahaha you guys must be laughing) Think the guys are surprised that i get tipsy so easily.. Hahaha..I also dun know why.. Maybe due to my mood or other reason? I really don't know.... Can't imagine that i vomited.. (Yucks...But at least i MERLION after i reach home :p) Even i myself was shock!!Just 1 & a half bottle.. After vomiting,i feel better.My friend which had never been to ZINC ask me to go. Since i feel better,why not as i know "HE" will also go thai disco. So why can't enjpy myself too.Anyway,i really super long didn't go to ZINC. As usual,it was crowded..but at least still manage to get seats heehee. Really did enjoy myself coz i saw some friends there :) But i was surprise to see DISEREE & NAOMI there.. Wah..never expect they will go there.. Really feel great to see her coz it has been a long long time I've never seen her. Half way enjoying myself,something happened.. My friend almost got fight with the customer in ZINC.. Well,dun wish to elaborate the scenario.. It's not my friend's fault but the other party which created the problem really a fxxker.. I'm glad that at last my friend cool down & we left the place at around 5am.. Written @ Thursday, June 04, 2009 3rd Jun, 晴天 Wednesday, June 3 Today was a very bad day for me.. The feeling was like this is the end of our relationship.. When i get to know that he block my msn,the feeling was sucks really very sucks..He not only block my msn,he block those who related to me..The only reason was when he was online,we cun see him.. Can you imagine my husband block me in his msn... How would you feel if you are in my shoe... My 1st feeling was SAD, DOWN, DISAPPOINTED, ANGRY & PISS. Does he have to do to the extend of blocking me? Are we really husband & wife?I'm asking myself.. I really cun overcome the fact that he did that.. I called him straight away & meet up with him to talk. What he really want?We talk for about an hour... From what i hear from his answer i feel that he was more happier & enjoy his life without me.. (Coz without me around,he can go to his favourite RESORT & NIGHTCLUB again) Ask him how he feel when i move back to my mum's place this 2weeks... His answer was he somehow feel more peaceful when I'm not around even though he feel sad.. So it means that my existing makes him feel UN PEACEFUL, RESTRICTED, UNHAPPY, & UNCOMFORTABLE. He can tell me that he has been thinking that are we suitable to be together when both of our character are so strong & stubborn.. I was like,what the fxxk.. Before wedding dinner,he promise me everything but in the end, he break ALL his PROMISES!!! We have just married for 4 months... But after 4 months of our wedding dinner, he can ask me this question.. I really LOST OF WORDS!!!! We've known each other for 10years & being together for 9 years.. The feeling was fxxking sucks,really sucks.... Before wedding dinner he beg me for a chance but after 4 months of our wedding,that was what i get the answer from him.. If he really thinks that our character cun click why does he still want to carry on with the wedding dinner when i suggest to cancel the wedding dinner? I really dun know..Can anyone tell me what should i do??? Written @ Wednesday, June 03, 2009 2nd Jun, 晴天 Tuesday, June 2 Actually it's 6am in the morning when i wrote this blog as i cun sleep.. It was raining heavily now.... These 2days i didn't really sleep well.. Always wake up in the middle of the night.. Can you imagine i've been awake since 3am?? I slept less than 2hours i guess (*_*) Today is another busy day for me... Ever since we know that BIG BOSS is coming,i've so many homework to do.. (Luckily,i've my dearest jj to help me heehee.Love u so much haha) After rushing some of my paperwork, met up with johnny for coffee during lunch time. We catch up of what was happening to me & he keep asking why i become so skinny? Skinny meh?Still ok la..Not that bad i think... At least im not as skinny before my wedding dinner. But if i carry on with my present diet,i guess i will be worst haha.. Coz my daily breakfast & lunch is only "KOPI SI" Think i can be SHENG XIAN liao haha At last,i decided to visit my customer.. I've been trying to avoid to visit them coz im afraid of seeing her.. She was unhappy with me ever since i got married.. I really dun know why...Even i know i will feel uneasy but i still have to go. That's my job..Anway,she was sick & we didn't really talk much.. Hope she will recover soon.. After visiting my customer,my friend come to fetch me & we went for dinner. Continous 2days i had good dinner heehee.Not bad.. After dinner,we went to buy some beer & went to my friend place to watch TV & chit chat.. I was lazy to go back so i stay over at my friend's house... Maybe i cun get used to the bed,that's why i cun sleep.. Now i'm still thinking what phone should i change. Actually,the samsung is not bad but too bad no wifi..(-_-) Intend to change to black berry but they dun have stock... Urgh...so sianz..dun know what phone should i change.. Maybe i will change to i-phone or ericssion.. Aiya,hate to think of what phone to change.. But i really like the blackberry which my friend is using.. Although it's big but it has many function... Hmmm..too bad the singtel shop dun have this phone.. CAN & FRANK,how?You 2 decide for me la.. I dun wanna use my brain to think liao..very lazy.. (Me dam bad right?free phone still HIAM hahaha) Written @ Tuesday, June 02, 2009 1st Jun, 晴天 Monday, June 1 Monday is always the most boring day... Maybe monday blue??I guess so.Think everyone also will have this feeling.. Today i was super busy... Join the boring sales meeting & i think that fxxker will be suprise that i attended the meeting coz usually i dun attend sales meeting.. (Anyway,i purposely join the meeting even i'm not interested to show that idiot) Since sunday,he did not sms,call or replied my e-mail.. Whatever..think he must be so happy that i shifted back to my mum's place as he can start his flirting night life again.. Whatever he had PROMISE ME,he broke all his PROMISES.. Said that he will STOP DRINKING & WANTED TO BE A FAMILY MAN!! These are all BULLSHIT!!!!!!! He start going to Thai disco & KTV again... He thought that i would not know but too bad,i'm not a stupid idiot.. I have my ways to know that he went to these places again... Sometimes,i wish i'm stupid so that i will not get to know what he is doing. But i just cun..I cun pretend that i dun know... That's my character.It cun be change..... Even though i'm numb but i still have to admit that i'm sad & disappointed of what he had done... I just cun bluff myself that i dun feel anything at all.. No matter what,we have been together for 10 years.. Maybe that's the reason why i will feel sad & disappointed.. My BIGGEST MISTAKE was i carry on with the WEDDING DINNER even though i know he did alot of flirting things before our wedding dinner.. But it's a blessing that we didn't ROM..That's my consolation.. Think i beta stop talking about him if not,the stories will never end haha.. Side Track Had dinner with CAN's family,steven & 1 of CAN dislike girl name APPLE at GRAND COPTHRONE HOTEL Initially,i still feel that she was ok but after heard about what CAN told me about her,i was totally turn off with this girl. (She was really thick skin.Everytime expect people to pay for her when she is out with them.I really hate this kind of person & the worst part is she dun even say THANK YOU!!) After dinner,steven jio me to play m'sia mj... Sorry la,i promise my friend to accompany him liao so.... Next time ok?Next time i sure play with you :p Have lots of things to write but i'm tired liao.. Will continue my blog again tomorrow.. Stay tune ok :) Oppps,i forgotten to say thank you to my dear CAN.Thanks for the dinner :) Written @ Monday, June 01, 2009 31st May, 晴天 Sunday, May 31 Went for Arron Kowk concert last nite..Although i dun really like his songs but his dance & stage was fantastic... Through out the whole concert,we didn't even talk. That's what i mean...We have no COMMUNICATION & TOPIC to talk.. Well,this is expected...Coz both of us are HARD STONE.. Wun give in to each other hahaha.. After concert,went for supper & went to AH CAN place to play m'sia MJ.. It was really quite fun.. Supper long time didn't see steven & he is still the same heehee.. (Still handsome la hahaha) Next time have to teach jj.cai & xiuling how to play.. What i've mention was yesterday event.. Now i shall talk about today schedule.. Afternoon,went over to CAN place to play m'sia mj again.. Hahaha me addicted liao lor... "Thank to CAN teach me play m'sia mj" Evening time,mum came over to CAN place. In order to enetertain her,we play mj again. She dun know how to play m'sia mj so we play normal mj. (Me dam sway lor,i lost 60bucks...but ok la,lost to my mum..) After mj,went home & on my laptop to replied his e-mail. Think he will get MAD after reading my mail.. But I'm just stating the facts & what's on my mind. Anyway,i've already done what i suppose to say & do.. Now it depends on him... If he still love me,he will come & look for me. But if he dun than let it be... Think this will be the end of our relation... But in my mind,i already know the answer.. The answer is he wun give in and will not come & look for me... Written @ Sunday, May 31, 2009 |
 Disclaimer
Spammers will not be entertained here.
Rippers you can just simply get off my blog.
Copyrighted @ yoururl.bs.com.
If it's possible, tag me :)Haters > [x] MelodiesTaggies My Precious Linkies  JoeyZhuZhuCaiYunSophiaPeggyfriendLoves LV BAGS!!Travel!!Delicious Food!!Anything tat is NICE :)Wishlist Lose WeightRashes Scar DisappearNew LaptopLV Trevi GM EUR1,310LV Sistina GM EUR1,300MuiMui Coffer Bag $2,600Yuki Candy Koh  Create Your Badge counter |
