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STUPID IDIOT
Saturday, July 18

At last Ah Frank was back..
Happy to see him but something sad & disappointed things happened.

Although,I slept at 4am last night but I wake up 8am this morning..
He has lots of clothes & pants not iron & therefore
I decided to iron all his clothes & pants.
He was very busy today as there are many viewing
& he has NFL soccer game at 7pm..

He on his laptop,receiving calls from his advertisements
& arranging viewing,he log into his MSN.
I also log into my MSN but I saw him offline..
I was puzzled & I ask him did he log in MSN?
He say yes but he was offline.
I can see from his laptop that he did log in & it was not offline.
Why must he wanna lie to me that he was offline.

I ask him to on the MSN & let me see but he immediately log off.
He does not want to let me see.
I ask him why & his answer was why,you wanna quarrel is it?
The sad & disappointed thing was,he block my MSN address again
& therefore he dare not let me see his MSN.

He told me that can I give him some PRIVACY?
Why must I see his MSN?
If he have nothing to hide,why cun he let me see?
What does he mean by "Can I give him some PRIVACY?"
Is there anything he wanna hide & that's why
he block me & does not want to let me see his MSN?

Think I was too emotional & I just cun control myself..
While ironing his clothes,my tears starts to flow down from my face.
He knew it but he did not even console or say anything..
I was really very upset...
Why am I so stupid!!!!
Why must I still iron & wash his clothes & change the bedsheets?
I must be a bloody fool!!!!
I'm all alone at 845,really feeling very sad & down...
I really feel very moody & have no one to talk to..
I just felt that I'm really a STUPID IDIOT!!!

Written @ Saturday, July 18, 2009

BULLSHIT
Friday, July 17

Meet up with Stephanie for dinner & catch up at Mr Bean..
She was also having problems with her husband & they nearly divorce..
Now she was also tolerating & see how it goes..
She was having the same situation with me..
Really feel sad to hear that..
Why are all the MAN so into THAI DISCO now?
We talk about our problems & she told me that I should
have a good talk with him..

During our dinner, he sms me that he will be having dinner with ONG & KL..
After that he might go HUSH.
HUSH again?
Stephanie told me to join him,dun let him have any excuse.
If not after HUSH he will sure go THAI DISCO again!!!
So I decided to join him & Stephanie also join me to HUSH.
(Think he must be disappointed that I decided to join him to HUSH)

We stay at HUSH for few hours & he suggest to play MJ.
Think he must be boring coz I'm around & he cun go THAI DISCO after HUSH.
Stephanie say ok so we went home & play MJ till 3am..
Again,I lost 200+..
Think I really cannot gamble...
Always lose money haiz...
Think I should go & pray TUA PAY KONG..

After the MJ session & before we went to bed,
I decided to tell him about how I felt..
I was very uncomfortable that he lock his HP.
Last time,he dun lock his HP but why now he do so?
He say that I lock my HP & so he also lock his HP.
I told him I din lock now & even if I lock my HP,
I can give him my password.
He say that he wun ask for my password.
(This shows that he dun care at all. coz if last time, he sure question me)

I told him to unlock his HP but his excuse was,
he was afraid that if he lost his HP,
others will know the contacts & data in his HP.
So I ask him to give me his password.
He refused & said that if I wanna check his HP,
he will unlock & let me see.

I was asking myself,why cun he give me his password?
I'm his wife!!!Cun I have his password?
He keep silent & din reply me...
I was tired & I know that he wun answer me...
I give up asking...

I felt that what he told me that he wanna try to
gain back the TRUST & RELATIONSHIP are all BULLSHIT!!!
If he really wants to gain back the TRUST,he would not do that....
Lock his HP & block my MSN...........

Written @ Friday, July 17, 2009

MARRIAGE LIFE IS SUCKS
Wednesday, July 15

After knock off,I meet up with him & we went Tampines for dinner..
We had TEPANYAKI & everything seems fine..
But deep in my heart,I dun feel happy at all..
We really have nothing to talk & he keep sms & betting soccer
throughout the dinner..

After dinner,we went home & he continue his betting & I went to bed...
What kind of SUCKS life is this?
I really dun know....
My marriage life was SUCK!!!!
He is no longer the ERIC which I know 10 years ago....
He no longer interested & concern about what's happening to me..
He no longer interested in me I guess....
Think he miss his flirting life before our wedding dinner.
His Thai & China Gal!!!!!
Maybe now still flirting which I would not know
coz he is working as property agent.
He can do whatever he wants when I was working as I work from 9 to 6pm...

Written @ Wednesday, July 15, 2009

ANOTHER LIE
Tuesday, July 14

Recently,I really feel very moody ever since I'm back from my business trip.
Everything just doesn't seems fine to me..
I've no mood to work & do anything..
Everyday the moment I reach office,I just cun wait to knock off..

Tonight,I will be having MJ session with his family..
Although I dun feel like playing but I still entertain them.
When he call me,I told him that we rotate playing MJ coz I was quite tired.
When I told him that,than he mention to me that they were having dinner
& drinking celebration for Ray's B'day..
I silent for a moment & say than it's ok..
I was wondering why now a days
he will not mention anything to me till I ask him..
He knows that they will either go to THAI DISCO or NIGHTCLUB
& I guess that's the reason why he dun wanna mention it to me..

After finish the MJ session,it was already 12am..
He didn't even send me a sms & tell me where was he
till I sms him & he told me that they are at LIDO PALACE NIGHTCLUB.
He sms me & tell me not to be angry as it was RAY's B'day & he
dun wan bcoz of him,the rest cun go to LIDO PALACE.
For goodness sake,was it his b'day?
Do it mean that if he dun go than the others will not go?
What kind of excuse was it?
I really cun understand..
I think he cun wait to go coz he miss the gals there.
I'm really fxxking tired & disappointed.
I sms him & say :
"You enjoy yourself & dun drink too much as you are driving"

Written @ Tuesday, July 14, 2009

NO COMMUNICATION
Monday, July 13

Early in the morning,that stupid idiot really spoilt my day..
Cun understand why was he so worried that did I met up with BIG BOSS?
He already know my schedule for this trip was to visit supplier & customer
& yet he keep asking me stupid question & really piss me off..

After that my customer request me to go down to GUL AVE!!
They have some urgent issue to discuss..
I was dam tired as YCJ request some report from us.
The worst thing was that idiot just inform me today.
How am I going to finish it??
Luckily,I've got JJ to help me to do 1 of the report.
(Thank you JJ,I LOVE YOU hahaha)

My meeting with my customer suppose to be 3.30pm.
That idiot keep asking me question & I was late for 15mins..
Luckily my customer was not angry..phew..

After meeting,I went over to Ah Can place & had chicken rice for my dinner.
His dad call me as he bought durian for me & ask me am I going back.
Think he was worried that I wun be home :p

Side Track
He was having viewing at punggol & there was buyer wanna view 845 &
so I've to open the door for them..
After his viewing,he come to pick me up & we went home.

The moment we reach home,he took shower & fall asleep..
At that moment,I was thinking,he can go clubbing with his friends till 5am but when we were home,he sleep..
We really have nothing to talk about?
He rather sleep than spend time talking & communicate with me..

It's ok...Forget about it..
The best thing was I still wash his clothing & went to bed at 12+...
What the hell am I doing??
What happened to me??
Why must I do that when he doesn't even concern about me??
I think I must be CRAZY!!

Written @ Monday, July 13, 2009

THAI DISCO AGAIN!!
Sunday, July 12

Whole day laze around at home & do nothing..
Just update my blog & clean up my room..

Last night,dun know why I was awake around 3am.
I check my hp & he didn't sms me & I was wondering why..
HUSH closed at 2am & he should be home by now.
I was thinking should I call him?
I just cun control myself & so I called but he didn't answer..

Few minutes later,he return my call.
I ask him where was he?
He told me that he was at ICON!!THAI DISCO AGAIN??

I was really disappointed as I really thought that after HUSH he will go home.
His excuse was his friend called ONG & jio ONG go drinking..
He was with ONG & so they ended up go ICON...
He ask me am I not happy?
If yes,than he will go home now.
He knows me jolly well that I wun ask him go home..
He was with his friends & he told me that they just reach there.
(I dun know is it true coz it was already 3am...they just reach there??)
I dun wanna put him into a difficult position & so I say it's ok..
Go ahead & enjoy with your friends..

After putting down the phone,he sms me...
He said that he love me & he wanna be honest with me.
He really didn't plan it...
Just happen that his friend call ONG & that's why they went there..

I replied him that I love him too & I also wanna be honest with him.
I knew that after HUSH he will sure go THAI DISCO...
I told myself & hope that my six sense was wrong...
Too bad,my six sense really come true...
I was really upset & disappointed...
I keep repeating asking myself this question.
How long can I tolerate??
Did he ever put himself in my shoe & think about it.
If I were the 1 who keep going out,how would he feel??

What is the point of telling me that he wanna be a FAMILY MAN,
will stop drinking & clubbing after married.
Now I'm thinking of 1 sentence which he ever told me.
"If you really love a person,you should let her go"

Written @ Sunday, July 12, 2009

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