"♥最爱的人伤我最深♥"

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RELEASED DAY
Saturday, June 27

Last night,went movie with baobei & him..
After movie,we went back to 845 to sleep..
Before I fall asleep below is our conversation

Me : I'm going to Japan & Shanghai for business trip for 9days
Him : I know..Why?You worry I go out??
Me : I'm not worry coz I'm sure you will go out & it's useless for me to worry..

He silent for a moment & didn't reply me...
(He didn't even bother to console or say something to ease my mind..)
I ask him why now a days he lock his mobile phone?
He say because I lock my phone & so he lock his phone..
RUBBISH!!!I lock my phone bcoz I saw him lock his phone...
Now he turn around & point the finger at me...
I know that I'm very childish to do that but i just can't control myself..
Just find that he had lot of things hiding from me...
(Am I too sensitive?I've been asking myself...)
Forget about it..I don't wanna say anymore..
I'm tired...really very very tired...

Side Track
Today is my "LOVER IVAN" release day..
Thought of going to fetch him.
But ah frank say he doesn't want anyone to go & fetch him.
So I drop the idea...
Anyway,I will call him soon & meet up with him :)
Really feel happy for him & hope everything will be fine for him...

Written @ Saturday, June 27, 2009

MOODY & BAD LUCK..
Thursday, June 25

Last night,Have m.j session with his family..
Don't really feel like playing but just to entertain his family
so I agreed to play...

As usual,I lost again.
Recently,me really dam sway.
Have been losing money whenever I gamble.
Don't know 走甚么霉运。。
Haiz..think must go 大伯公 to 拜拜。

Really feel moody & really don't know what to blog..
Have been thinking why I alway feel moody & unhappy??
My life was soooooo boring.
Everyday I've been doing the same thiing.
Work,Eat & Sleep...
I just have nothing to look forward to...
WHY??????????????????????????????????????

Written @ Thursday, June 25, 2009

Let go......
Wednesday, June 24

At last, my business trip to Japan & Shanghai was confirmed.
Will be going for 9days...
Think he will be SUPER HAPPY coz I won't be around.
He could go to his FAVOURITE THAI DISCO & NIGHTCLUB again...

I keep telling & reminding myself..
As day goes by,I will slowly let go..
I just need some time to adapt my life without him..
I think I can make it!!!
NOPE!! Not I can make it..
I MUST MAKE IT!!!

Now adays,he lock his mobile phone..
I was thinking why??
Why suddenly he lock his mobile phone??
Why he made such a move when he say he was trying to gain back my TRUST!!
Is this the way he try to gain back my TRUST??
I really don't know..
I just know that I need to widen my circle of friends..
I won't die without him..
I still have my BaoBei,Ah Frank,Mum,Ah Can,JJ,CaiCai,Xiuling,Laura etc..
I believe they will be there for me..
They will always SUPPORT me..
Am I RIGHT?? :)

I just don't wanna think about anything now..
Concentrate on my work & keep myself busy is the best way..
Now i'm just looking forward for Ah Frank to come back..
Ah Frank,you faster come back la...
Come back & entertain me hahahaha.
(P.S. Coz when Ah Frank is back,he will bring my clothes back hahahaha)

Written @ Wednesday, June 24, 2009

NEVER RELY ON ANYBODY!!
Tuesday, June 23

It has been a tiring trip to BBK...
Didn't really shop much coz i go with him..
Well,expected coz he doesn't like shopping..
I'm well prepared that he won't shop with me so it's ok..
Luckily,my friends was there & at least i had 1 day happy shopping with them.Thanks to my dear friend GERALDINE & HONEY :)

Didn't really buy much things as time was really insufficient.
He gave me 2,000 for shopping...
Sorry I have to correct my sentence.
Is 2,000Baht..
Hmmm..How much is 2000baht?
Less than SGD90.00
Hahahaha,not even enough for him to open a bottle in Thai Disco..
Maybe I dun even worth 1 bottle of liquor..
Money to him is more important than anything else i guess..
In his mind,he keep thinking that he spend alot on me..
He never thinks that what I had spend on him..

I've learn & I think MONEY is really very IMPORTANT than anything else...
So, I've to WORK HARD to earn & support myself & my family..
I don't wanna rely on anyone..
(I don't think i can rely on him either haha)
This is the BEST SOLUTION!!!
NEVER RELY ON ANYBODY!!!!
Maybe i can rely on Ah Frank??
Ah Frank,will you support hahahaha:p

SIDE TRACK
Yesterday,after we touch down,he went for soccer game..
Well,i can understand coz he really love soccer..
After the game,he called me that he's going to thai disco with his group of BROTHERS.
He ask me whether do i wanna join him..
Come on,he knows that i'm tired & i need to work the next day..
Think he just ask for fun as in his heart he already know that i won't join him..
Is he really so into thai disco now??
(Think he really into THAI GAL i guess)
I did not go as i know deep in his heart he also don't wish me to go.
If i go,he can't enjoy...
I really find it no point following him there..
I'm getting NUMB..
As i've mention,it's the matter of time...
I'm a TIME BOMB now...
I will explode anytime,anyday hahaha..

Written @ Tuesday, June 23, 2009

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