"♥最爱的人伤我最深♥"

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Life
Saturday, February 19

Life is just a Game to me.
Sometimes you win and sometime you lose.
I admit I'm a total loser in life.

I'm tired and I dun wanna drag anymore.
Putting on a mask is very miserable.
Devil may cry and devil may die..
I'm just like a devil now..
Waiting for my days to come..

Written @ Saturday, February 19, 2011

Living In Hell
Friday, February 18

I'm feeling so sick and tired..
Everynite when he's back, I will be waken up by him.
Whenever he opens the door and go to bed, I can't sleep anymore.

Everyday I sleep less than 3-4 hrs as he usually come back 3-4am.
I dunno how long can I tolerate as I really felt mentally torture..
Have to act as if nothing happens infront of others but like stranger in our room.

I've shut myself out of my world.
Wanna be alone and just wait for the time to come..

Everyday felt so restless n tired and it really affect my work.
I cun carry on like this!!
I will ruin my life n job!!

I still have another 30days to hang on.
Coz he will announce it after my gal b'day.
Can I hang on till that day?

Everyday I'm asking myself this question.
Why am I torturing myself?

Since he can go out and enjoy and do what he wants.
Why am I shutting myself in my own world.
Why must I go hm everyday after work and face his dad alone?

I'm getting sick and miserable day by day.
I'll just give up acting and go back to my own self.
As he's also enjoying going nightclubs hugging other gals.
Why am I so stupid staying at home facing all these shit???

I will go mad and crazy if I carry on like this.
Everynite I need to drink in order to sleep.

It's time for me to look for my cousin n nephew..
I need their support Coz they always stand by my side.

Written @ Friday, February 18, 2011

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