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Negative Thoughts Wednesday, February 9 Feeling is getting from bad to worst.. Everyday facing him & his dad make me feel worst.. The feeling is dam terrible.. I have to act & hide my feelings infront of his dad. This is the worst as his dad is really very good to me.. I can't find words to describle my feelings as nobody can understand how I feel. I really thought of ending my life but I have few things to do before I do that.. Everyday, I'm thinking which is the better & easiest ways to end my life to get away from these mental torture. I know i'm very irresponsible as my 2 gals are still young.. But , i really can't take it anymore.. If i could cry, that would be better i guess but no tears drop.. This is something which i feel weird.. Life is short, we should enjoy life but why must I go through all these torture? I know mostly is my fault but it takes 2 hands to clap. This is something which i think he also agreed. Maybe he think he's the best. Before married, promise everything. After married, throw you 1side & only treat you as a mother of his daughter. I'm also a human being. I also need my hubby to care, concern & love me. But did he do that?? Maybe he felt he did but i don't feel it..  Written @ Wednesday, February 09, 2011 |
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