"♥最爱的人伤我最深♥"

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LONELY gal living in a LONELY world
Thursday, October 8

Recently,Whenever I write my blog,
my tears will flow down my face automatically..
No matter I'm in office or at home..
I will cry & cry & cry...

I know this is really unhealthy for my baby
but I just can't control.
This shows that how happy am I ;_;

After all the WARS through phone & SMS,
finally I manage to cool myself down.

Every time when we quarrel,
I will become very agitated & emotional.

Never ever once we will solved our problems.
We just leave it aside & take it as nothing had happened.

The THORNS will leave in our heart & accumulate..
This is what both of us are doing..

Maybe to him it will avoid quarrel but to me,
it's a TIME BOMB & we will explode anytime..
Since he wants to handle in a unhealthy way,
I will follow his way..

I told myself that I have to be strong.
I dun need his sympathy & accompany..
Even I'm not feeling well & have problems,
I will HANDLE & KEEP TO MYSELF.
I will NEVER OPEN UP TO him AGAIN!!

I have to learn to be independent.
I will not depend on him anymore.
He no longer have any obligation.
I strongly believed & will
force myself to do it..

I GIVE UP,I REALLY GIVE UP & SURRENDER!!!
EVERYDAY,I'VE BEEN WASHING MY FACE WITH MY TEARS..
Not a single day I'm HAPPY.
WHY DO WE HAVE TO TORTURE OURSELVES??
HE IS NOT HAPPY & I'M NOT HAPPY TOO!!!

Now I really understand the feeling of HEART DIES..
Just like few years ago he GIVE UP our relation..
I totally can understand how he feels that moment..
Coz I feel it myself now.

The feelings is SUCKS & UNBEARABLE.
But I just need time to overcome like what he did.

Go out with friends & drink to forget the pain.
Although I can't drink now but I still can go out.
I can sit down & enjoy their accompany.
I believe they will be willing to accompany me more than him..

I will not request anything from him in the future.
I TOTALLY FEEL HOPELESS,GIVE UP
& LOST CONFIDENCE IN THIS MARRIAGE...

It will be another SAD ENDING STORY IN MY LIFE...
THANKS HIM FOR ALL THE PAINFUL MEMORIES...

I guess he will never know how I felt.
He can't be bothered & concern about my feelings.

I will not be what I used to be.
Care,Concern,Kan Cheong,Bothered & Loving..

There will only be unusual silent peaceful...
It's A COLD & NO LOVE PEACEFULNESS.....

Side Track
Meeting the gals for dinner tonight.
I'm really looking forward ...

Meeting up with the gals
& chi chat really can brighten up my day :)

Too bad caicai have to start work soon.
The time of meeting up with them will be lesser.
Haiz...Feel so sad... :(

So you gals must remember.
Even you all are busy,
you all must meet up with me again...
If not I will be a
LONELY GAL living in a LONELY WORLD...

Written @ Thursday, October 08, 2009

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